Aislelife

New Job

2010-02-08T11:26:00.002-05:00

I sit at a desk in the honors college and answer phones for minimum wage.

I got the job through works study, a program offered to provide employment to college students by the federal government.

Thank you federal government!

Also, I think I am sick, and I am going to the university health center to get antibiotics this afternoon.

yay to that as well I guess.

It's nice to live a subsidized life, but I really feel bad for the other people who do not have such measures. America needs national healthcare now.

In fact, yesterday might have been good.

Blue Uniform

2010-01-31T13:46:00.002-05:00

I have a blue uniform, and everyone else has a green one.

It is weird and bad, because customers dont think that I work at the store.

People are all, "Do you know anyone who works here?"

and when I respond "Me"

they get all confused. We need to fix it, because I am tired of being asked if I work at the place where I have worked for three years.

Also, people are idiots, I still have a nametag on.

There's time

2010-01-05T12:00:00.002-05:00

Every time I think that I have screwed up big, or done something unrepairable it becomes plainly obvious that there is no way to mess up life beyond repair. It's all just a matter of paths that you go down.

I've become to obsessed with the things that I am currently doing to accomplish any of my goals. I got too wrapped up in the now, and I left the future to chance.

I've been at a lot of things since I was last here, and many things that I was doing have changed. So let's do a reset, a grocery term which here means "start over with a full shelf"

My job is still at the grocery, now I am a sample person. All day I purvey tiny bites of interesting food. Tiny bites, and just one please.

Good luck to you all on your new years reset, may all of your newfound convictions be fruitful for you.

Kerri Anne

2009-03-06T13:10:00.003-05:00

Is letting me down

but I am so used to it now that it doesnt even phase me

Ian

I suck

2009-02-24T18:23:00.004-05:00

At keeping a schedule that makes blogging consistent.

At work the other night I spent all my time singing, just singing.

A lot of the time I was good enough to get the song stuck in people's head.

It was great, there were at least 5 people with "Boys of Summer" by Don Henley, or the Ataris variously embedded in their head.

Also, I ended up singing a lot of Elton John, which bothers me, because up until now I never had the problem of liking Elton John.

At least not enough to sing it.

Sleep

2009-02-19T00:02:00.003-05:00

I've never been very good at it.

That's why I think I like the closing shift at the store.

Everyone else hates it with a passion, a flaming passion of torrid hurry, with resigned candor.

it's a weird mix

and we all sit there and talk about stuff as we block

one girl got broken up with today

that sucks

I told her to drink it away, which on second pass is a bad idea

oh well

I had to give up my laptop today, and without it I feel empty,

but no worries
just repairs

Item 1

2009-02-17T09:06:00.003-05:00

This is my Christmas tree, I leave it up all year round. This is in part due to the fact that it looks pretty damn cool.

Also, I like that it is a sort of blueish white, because then it can go with other holidays, and I can add ornaments to it to match the time of year.

My mom gave it to me, because I begged her for one like my math teacher Mrs. Curtis had.

This looks nothing like the tree Mrs. Curtis had, in fact, there is very little way it could look anything less like the tree Mrs. Curtis had, but I'm glad, it makes me unique.

Behind it you can see a jar of headache pills, they're like a little present to myself, every time my head feels like someone has addled it with a jackhammer.

Merry Christmas to me.

Working on my room

2009-02-16T11:24:00.002-05:00

Hard to find a job

2009-02-15T11:31:00.003-05:00

I was just talking to my grandmother, and she has been trying to find a new job for a long time.

She went to a restaurant and the amount of applicants that they have had is up, to almost five hundred applicants per ninety days.

and the restaurant wasn't hiring.

I really hope things get better, soon.

We really need it here in my town.

Failure to launch

2009-02-15T02:20:00.002-05:00

I relied on my mother for money today,

and it drove me crazy.
I hated that I couldnt do for myself,
it was a low point of this month.

but why?

What causes this embarrassment that I am feeling?

There is no logical reason, everyone needs to be picked up and dusted off sometimes.

still sucks

School day

2009-02-12T14:55:00.003-05:00

Today I went to the bookstore, and I was horrified at the price of an item

it was 136.91 including tax

but here is my problem...

this book was only purchased because I needed a code

an 18 digit code,

so now I own a two-thousand page quarto, of useless sodding pages.

What I suggest is instead of selling me this sodding exercise in prior knowledge, that passes for a textbook...

they could fire the printers, make the book digital and sell me just the disc that I needed in the first place as an "educational bundle pack" that could have much easier served to shove their 136.91 bill up my...

I would have paid that if I was going to use all the items I had been given, but in effect they were reaming me for something I didnt need at all.

in the words of the internet suxx0rs to the maxx

Sick

2009-02-11T22:43:00.001-05:00

Headache

book club was dull

shouted some random nonsense about the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

they ate it up

sometimes I love the inane nature of my conversation

Love and Kisses

I had to call in

2009-02-10T07:34:00.002-05:00

Because I was super sick,

I have strep, no fun, got these antibiotics to take

had this argument with my grandmother. she thinks my diet is why I got sick.

It is'nt.

I got sick because I touch people, and their stuff at work all day, and get exposed to a lot.

It sucks to be so vulnerable, we all rely on other people following unwritten rules of cleanliness and hygiene, and they do mostly, at least when other people are looking.

otherwise, not so much.

Too sick

2009-02-09T12:20:00.001-05:00

To go to work today

I fell asleep at midnight, when I got home

and slept until 20 minutes ago

Symptoms, headache, stuffy head, fever, sore throat, coughing, and wheezing

it sucks

the big one

Shopping problem

2009-02-08T16:09:00.001-05:00

I cannot help myself, whenever I walk into a store, I will buy something, whether I want or need to or not.

So now I have a shirt, from express

it's nice

First day back, after the suspension

2009-02-08T00:19:00.002-05:00

Okay, so it wasn't that bad,
I just had to shut myself up... a lot.

But, I am still thinking about it and the reasons I am not happy are the same now, as they ever were.

My manager is hiring people outside our store, to work at levels higher than the people who work in the store. This makes sense from a management perspective. Vetting in people to do a job is a very sure way to get it done.

But it disenfranchises the people in the store who work hard to get to the next level, and are run out of the position because of a more qualified candidate.

Personally, I'd rather someone who works hard to learn a job, than someone who knows the job, being brought in to do it for more money.

It's really hard to move up I've noticed, and I really have to put on a face to be able to move up within the store.

I'll do it for now, but they've put me in a position where, if opportunity knocks, I'm gone.

Famous

2009-02-06T18:11:00.001-05:00

When you're a little kid there is no doubt in your mind of your impending celebrity.

You will be a star.

That is not how it really works, and it dawned on me today.

I will be a cashier, and the world will be the world

the people who are stars, always were and will be

forever and ever

amen

Suspended

2009-02-05T17:38:00.001-05:00

I got suspended the other day, although probably deserved

I called someone in the deli an idiot

and then said "We can't all be rocket scientists"

while this may be true, it was a bonehead move on my part.

shame on me

So I might be submitting to rich now

2008-09-08T21:55:00.001-04:00

I dunno what that means

but it could be pretty cool

Ian

Closing time

2008-08-30T00:53:00.001-04:00

It isnt two oclock, but few people realise that publix closes at ten, but the employees are there until midnight, or sometimes later.

Thank god I do not close the store.

Also there is a really cute high school boy there, but I think he is straight.

Bummer.

New Store

2008-08-17T23:12:00.001-04:00

Is really uptight

and it sucks

I think I might go to work at Linda's La Cantina instead.

New Life

2008-08-11T00:59:00.002-04:00

I now live across town, in Winter Park, which is where all the rich people live, and it is different

I dont have the same bed, or people, I mean, I love my parents, and it sucks to not have the same people you love in life to talk to every day.

I live with my grandparents now, on my quest for college, so that is weird, because my grandmother is not quite sure what to do with another person in the house, and i don't think she really likes me here, it doesn't really matter because i have little choice but to live here, but it always sucks to not know where you stand with people.

The new store is cool, I havent even met all of my managers yet, which is weird, because at my old store, i spent at least thirty minutes a day, with my other associates, at the new store, it is just busy, and i havent really had anyone just have fun, or genuinely enjoy talking to me, you know hello and good bye, but that is all.

But, that will change, time fixes how things are at work, i expect.

It's also weird to be poor, when everyone around you has money, like ramen noodles, and a hard boiled egg for dinner level poor.

It wasnt like that before with mom, and i guess if i wanted to i could eat the other denizen's food, but I feel guilty doing that, so i will just eat ramen, because it is good, cheap and nutritious.

If there is one thing that i really actually feel sucky about right now, it's Sam.

I miss him, not just because I want a boyfriend, but because he was my best friend too, i know he would never believe it, but that is what I miss most.

I miss being able to call him and talk to him anytime, about anything, it is really hard to be short of people where you know where you stand.

It's kinda like sonar.

It tells you where you are, and where you are going, and a lot of the time, what to do when you get there.

Never let go of a good friend, even if he is a former lover.

because without a lover, you can do okay,

but without a friend, even okay seens a reach.

Last Day

2008-07-27T23:45:00.001-04:00

Today I did very little, I made a little money, like 4 thousand, and I fixed a sqeaky door

not the squeaky part, but the part where it constanly slammed into the wall,

I added floor pads

easy fix

people hugged me

it was great

Ian

Transferred

2008-07-25T23:28:00.001-04:00

People actually were crying,

and some got angry at me.

I told people i was transferred and they made me feel like I was the most important part of their day.

which is weird, and bs

at least i hope

Ian

Carrots

2008-07-21T00:18:00.003-04:00

We offer a lot of varieties of everything, particularly vegetables,

and i realized that I can Forrest Gump carrots in their varieties at the store.

(i.e.-Greenwise carrots, mini carrots, canned carrots, salted canned carrots, steamed canned carrots, and so on.)

Then it occured to me that I have not had a single customer request that I have not known where it was in months.

Go ahead blog buddies, ask away.

Hair color-Aisle 7, 1/3rd of the way down on the left

Bisquick, Aisle 6, 7/8ths of the way down on the right

Frozen organic apple pie, Aisle 13, seventh case door on the left (in frozen food)

I think I now know where everything is.

I am freak

My managers dont know as much.

That reminds me, Jive Manager is going to ask about the new store

super excited.

No choice

2008-07-18T23:23:00.001-04:00

Today I told my manager that I have no choice but to move to a new store, so she is going to call for me.

Because I was kicked out,

well I wont be welcome back after my birthday.

Ian

Randy

2008-07-17T21:51:00.002-04:00

I got in a fight woth my stepfather today over his drinking,but I did it at the wrong time.

Namely in front of his family.

and i feel terrible about it but there is little to nothing I can do, because he does all the things that I said he did.

I just told the wrong person entirely.

His nephew.

At dinner

with his family and I do not have any idea what to do about this.

because I am both apologetic, and stalwart about what I said.

But he is an alcoholic.

completely.

I dont even know what to think anymore.

Born Free (as free as the wind blows)

2008-07-15T22:00:00.002-04:00

Today was absolutely great at work, because it occurred to me that there is very little that I can do wrong now.

I mean, I am going to a new store and there is really nothing that any of my managers can do about it so i am so chill now, that I have nothing to lose.

even if i cannot work at Publix, there is nothing to fear from the store that I am at now.

It is perfect.

Ah

relaxation at last.

281

2008-07-15T00:10:00.002-04:00

The new store still has not called me and it worries me because I might have to quit working at Publix, because I have to move, and when I do I can't drive thirty minutes to work every day.

That sucks.

And reading Dan Savage today i came to the conclusion that my relationship with Sam will continue if it is meant to and it will not if it it is meant to in spite of distance and time.

And I just have to accept that.

That I think is all I have to say.

Costco

2008-07-14T01:02:00.002-04:00

Today was also interesting, in that I applied for a position at Costco today.

What that will mean I have no idea,

I do know that the interview was riddled with catch 22 answers, like

If a coworker asked you do help him with something, but you were involved in meticulous work that you would have to restart if you left would you,

Help the coworker and lose your place, thereby being unable to complete your work in a timely fashion.

or

Refuse to help the coworker, resulting in him being unable to do his work in a timely fashion and possibly being injured trying.

There is no good answer, and there were no other options, i chose the first, but they both completely suck.

completely.

suck.

I don't even know what that was about.

Is there ever an actual instance that anything like that actually ever happens.

Changes (turn and face them)

2008-07-14T00:36:00.002-04:00

So today was my first day of work in a while, and I have a lot to go through.

First of all, today was great, the customers and all the people I work with were grade A, not sucky today.

Friday, I went down to my grandfather's shop to work on my MG ( a car that he is letting me buy, yes it is a privilege).

Then I went down to Publix store 281, where I talked to the manager,

and after my eighteenth birthday, I will be cashiering there.

so three more weeks at the store where I was hired,

where I had my first job, and I learned to play the managers, and do my job, and how to work, really work.

I love it at 405, and despite my cynicism, I don't think at this point in my life there is a place that I would rather work, that is why I want this job for Sam, so he can hopefully get the same experiences, and the same feeling of belonging.

I will be switching stores because I will be moving, to winter park.

Which means that I will not only work someplace else, but obviously live someplace else.

Something that in my real memory, I cannot remember, I know that we did move when I was six, but I don't remember doing it.

It is scary.

Life is scary.

The worst part about moving is Sam.

By leaving I lose him, I don't have my boyfriend anymore when I move, all I have is my grandparents, and I am really unsure how they feel about me.

They have always had their own life, and I have only seen them on holidays and other special occasions.

And to be honest, I don't really think they like me very much. I think that perhaps they made the offer to give me room and board a little to flippantly for their liking, and now they might feel as though they are stuck with me in their life.

I hope not because I really like them, and I want them to be happy with me, I mean after all, it is nice to live with people who really want and value your presence.

I think I forgot to mention that, that I will be living with my grandparents.

Which I guess is good, because however much I like Publix, they pay me little more than 8 dollars an hour.

which in order to even cover an apartment and utilities, would be upwards of seventy hours a week, and I get like twenty.

So I guess that i am stuck, in a transition phase, where nothing is certain or favorable.

and it is tearing me apart.

I think if I didn't have an outlet like this, I would succumb to the depression and insanity that hovers in my genealogy.

Beverage check

2008-07-10T21:09:00.001-04:00

I forgot about it, and ended up not catching a lazy cashier selling cigarettes and lotto tickets to underage people,

because I was out of town.

Shame on me

I should have called.

But I didn't, I guess that is a black mark on the record now...

Oh well.

Shrink

2008-07-10T21:02:00.003-04:00

Shrink is the amount of damaged stolen or otherwise unsaleable goods, calculated over store revenue.

This means if you go down the cereal aisle and open every goddamn box of cereal on the second shelf, you are a thief, and you raise everyone's prices by the amount you just broke open.

but that doesn't stop you because you can also go through and put loads of not frozen things INTO the frozen food section isn't that great?

Then when it gets all frozen, someone who works there can happen upon your stash of exploded frozen containers of Jimmie Dean sausage, and bratwurst, and cheerfully clean frozen meat from the now damaged pie crust and cool whip,

because nothing says inconsiderate like frozen sausage pie with whipped topping.

Heat stroke par 10 (not a store blog)

2008-07-09T00:03:00.004-04:00

Hey I've got this great idea, we have this sport you see, it takes years to get good at, and requires all sorts of special equipment, right? Well why don't we just take the very most difficult sodding part, and put it in a thematic fantasyland, and then send people through with the idea that it is fun.

Then we have the kicker, lets put it in Florida, where outside is hot or rain, in no small terms.

Well, it actually was not that bad, I had Sam with me, and his guests were... cordial... snide, but cordial, and I can do that.

Sam was just great today, he just exudes this feeling of love and, when we were out today, he was even able to kind show affection, and he never does that.

I think it really means he loves me, that he is able to show affection in a sometimes unwelcoming environ.

Also there was air conditioning, and a great multitude of reasonably priced good food at TGI CHiliRubyAppleTuesdaybeeFriday's, because to me they are all the same, but they are all good, especially when there is a large party involved.

Plus, I think Sam really liked my present, and I got to be a greedy consumer in the process.

I love it.

Mostly because I am an American, and"real 'mericans" wander from mini mall to mini mall in the search of the perfect knick knack for that little unfilled corner between the curio cabinet, and the memory chest...

"No, not that space slightly higher, next to the novelty clock, I think I can still put another Pepsi poster there, I mean sure its gonna be overlapping, but isn't that like a collage?"

Oh well, keep on trucking America, after you run out of highways, there are always smaller roads to paper in strip malls.

Shenanigans

2008-07-07T23:33:00.002-04:00

I realized that we sell everything today

we sell clothes

and hand wash machines

and scales

and if you really want something Publix can special order it for you to get, even if it is another store's exclusive product, like if for some reason, you wanted Albertson's Hand wash, we could order it at Publix.

How exactly does that work... does somebody go to the competition and buy it so we can sell it, or do we order it directly

and is it awkward to buy a product from a competitor to sell to a customer who likes the product but not the competitor well enough to shop there...

ponderous.

It is weird how picky people are...

I had this lady today who actually pulled all the soaps off the shelf to find the most full one,

she was sitting there on the floor surrounded in dish soap kinda on her heels,

almost squatting, but with her knees all around surrounded in Ajax cleaner

there were like twenty bottles around this middle aged Haitian woman eying containers with suspect analysis

So i went up and said

"Is there anything that I can help you with today?"

And she said

"No, deah thank you though, I was jeest lookin ta find the fullest one tah bring home wit' me tahday."

Now I do not know if I represented the regional speech with the proper marks, but it still had the effect of telling me that tis woman was used to looking for a bargain, even if it just meant one more hand washing.

It would be more weird if this was an isolated case, but they do it all the time. Constantly eying things and weighing things, and we have this guy who likes his meat wrapped in double plastic,in a separate double paper bag from the rest of his products, and then asks for a hand wipe, and asks me to wipe mine, and then bags the rest himself.

I don't know what this tells me about life.

Are people supposed to de-construct all of the details of their lives to control and structure every moment.

Or are we supposed to look at the big picture, and act like most customers, who literally could not care less about any aspect of the packaging or product selection process, they just want to get the hell out so they can go home and live their life.

So do we control life before we live it, or do we just live it, and not care about each individual step.

Buy Dumb Crap

2008-07-06T22:56:00.001-04:00

Just for the sake of having dumb crap, so it can overflow in the halls of your already overfull home

Buy one of 200 different spices, many of them so similar that there is no discernible difference.

Buy one of six different kinds of spice rack, or perhaps more cheap trash novels and novelty dog collars with matching dog sweaters in six different colors.

Buy a creme cake, or éclairs or one of over 100 desserts, with no nutritive value.

Do not buy, broccoli or Brussels sprouts, because they are discontinued, here at Publix supermarkets.

Do not buy anything organic, instead let it gather dust, so we can dust it each Friday.

Let other people worry about health because that pork chop ain't gonna hurt ya

Eat like pigs, and fake your way through life, by treating your body, your kids and other people like crap, so you don't have to think about the fact that one day you are going to die, even though by avoiding it you actually bring death closer, in a more painful way.

I owe you an explanation

2008-07-06T12:45:00.005-04:00

The managers all have nicknames,

Jive Manager is Shelinda Knowles

Health nut is Sarah Feld

Fearless leader is Ray Gritweld

The Assistant is Jim Swords

Hitman is Mr. Priest (don't know his first name)

The Surfer is Clark Kent

Don't worry, these are not their actual names.

and I will never tell their real names.

Otherwise I might have to fear for my job.

(my name is real)

Old Indian lady story

2008-07-05T18:26:00.000-04:00

This happened a while ago, but since I have nothing else about work today...

So I was putting something back in HBC(Health and beauty care (aisle 7)) and this little old lady, she is tiny, like 4' 11', maybe 100lbs tiny little woman, with a pink head wrap walks up and she asks,

"Do you have any preservatives?"

So I'm thinking like canning supplies, like Sure-gel or Certo, but when we get there she says,

"No, like for my son."

And I think to myself, um you're in the wrong place for formaldehyde (spelled that right on my first try thank you), and so I tell her,

"Um, I don't believe we have embalming fluids available at the store."

To which she replies,

"No, no, like for sex."

It occurs to me and I say,

"Oh! Contraceptives, you want condoms?"

"Yes."

So I walk her to aisle 11 where we keep them, and she picks up like three or four boxes.

I don't want to think about why this woman is buying her son forty eight condoms, so i go to the registers, and I bag some groceries, but before long, I see a pink head wrap at the end of the line.

Oh, Bother.

So she gets up there, but while the customer before her(who has kids mind you) gets away, she says,

"Thank you for helping me find the preservatives, I mean, condoms like you say."

I sigh and say

"You're welcome ma'am"

As I bag up forty eight condoms for some embarrassed young Indian boy who has a way too involved midget mother.

Thursday

2008-07-04T16:11:00.000-04:00

So I was called in on Thursday, and my till pulled like 7000 dollars... well technically not my till, but, the one I was using. seven thousand dollars, that is ridiculous. That is like a nice motorcycle, or a 1976 corvette (not mint, but working).

Yeah so some days I just want to grab the money and run.

But I don't, because seven thousand dollars, although it is a nice car or motorcycle, is not a plane ticket to Japan and a fake passport to avoid being arrested. So until the till reaches about thirty thousand dollars... I ain't going for it.

Yeah so I had like all nice customers too, which is weird because it means that next time they are going to be so mean that I lie on the ground bawling my eyes out and screaming for Olivia Newton John.

Okay, while at the very least Jodie Foster.

It was weird because the Health nut was the one who called me in, but she wasn't there at all.

Busiest day ever

2008-07-03T11:36:00.000-04:00

Independence day is tomorrow, and it is packed, completely packed.

I wasn't working today, but as a customer, I would be raving mad if I ever had to sit through lines like that, raving fucking mad.

And to clarify, it isn't like I don't understand why customers get mad, but I do realize that in the grand scheme, getting one little piddling thing out of place, is not going to kill you.

even as I say this, my hypocrisy is that I asked a cashier to open another register, which she shut down like two people after I got through the line.

So, I kinda cheated the extra perks a little...

But wouldn't you do it too?

No work on Wednesday

2008-07-02T22:19:00.000-04:00

I never work on Wednesday I have availability for it, but I never seem to be in the schedule.

weird.

I have a friend who applied at my store, and I wanted to help him get hired, so I told Shelinda, (one of the cooler managers) about him, and she said "Our store is losing money, and we ain't got hours as is, so Ray (the store manager's first name) don't wanna do any hiring."

So I guess I'll have to pray for a quitter.

They aren't all that uncommon,

people quit because they feel demeaned or like the work is below them, which, it is I guess.
It is one of the most necessary things on earth, and one of the most stressful, but people crack, because customers complain.

I was walking to aisle 5 yesterday, and one of the other cashiers asks me to check a price for them, and as I am doing so the customer comes up and starts on it was in the wrong place, and i get the other price, or get it free... blah blah blah... ( do people honestly think that because they didn't read the goddamned sign it is free) and she gets to the register all mad and demands reimbursement.

We cant do that.

Its the same as being on an airplane, and because you didnt get the seat you wanted you get a comp seat.

it doesn't happen, and if it did our store would hemorrhage even more money.

And besides I control little more than a scale and a conveyor belt.

Sorry this one is a little angry

Samples

2008-07-01T23:52:00.000-04:00

So today I had an idea, probably a good idea, I suggested, that my little store, that is hemorrhaging money, could try to hold seminars to raise sales. We could do things like, show the customers how to pick fresh produce, or sample olives.

I suggested it to Sarah the assistant customer service manager and she said she would talk about it to Mr. Gritweld the store manager.

I don't think she actually will.

Its not her fault, she is timid, and he is gruff and unchanging, I think that is how you have to be to survive as a manager at a store.
It's not like the job is impossible, but in order to make money, the customers have to be treated like god, conversely, in order to survive years of complaints and miserable employees and customers, you have to not care. Its like having to hold a smile for the rest of your life.
Eventually thats all there is and changing anything is out of the question.

Where shopping is a pleasure

2008-07-01T23:47:00.000-04:00

That's the motto.

I work at Publix, a southern grocery store founded a little over 80 years ago.

And its great, every job has ups and downs, and you learn a little about yourself, watching other people do all of their hunter gathering.

So I guess, this is supposed to be about me, and what it means to be me, get it?

Well, I hope so.